BDSM Aftercare Tips

bdsm aftercare tips - masturgasm blog

BDSM Aftercare Tips

Whether you frequently enjoy bondage scenes as a dominant or submissive or are simply looking into bondage relationships as a method for sexual satisfaction and want to learn more, aftercare is one of those aspects of bondage that is often overlooked. Surprisingly, it’s one of the more important factors to maintaining a healthy BDSM relationship and yet many people don’t even think about it. In today’s post, we’re going over what aftercare is, why it’s important, and other vital details to what happens after a bondage scene ends.

What is Aftercare?

So, what is aftercare? Aftercare is the subsequent care one gives after a bondage scene, usually referring to a dominant caring for their submissive and helping them to come down after a scene has finished, both mentally and physically. This can vary from person to person as each person may require a different level of comfort and care so it’s important to talk with your sub about what they would prefer and not make assumptions about what you think they need. Instead, negotiate beforehand about what they would like. Some prefer to be left alone while others prefer cuddling, kisses, and care. Some also prefer aftercare with someone other than their dominant so it’s important to discuss this long before a scene ever begins to ensure your sub has the proper care afterwards, even if that means calling someone who can comfort and care for them that isn’t you.

Why Do We Need Aftercare?

Aftercare is important to help bring a submissive/sub back down from a scene because it helps to develop trust with your dominant. Dominants can also learn a lot about the best ways to help their sub during a scene and to know what to look for during a scene that would point to signs of distress (especially when safe words might not work for everyone).

What is Subspace?

Subspace is the state a sub is in – their headspace – when coming down from a scene both mentally and physically. It’s actually the result of a chemical reaction that happens in the brain when high levels of endorphins such as dopamine are released during a scene and your sub suddenly enters into a “subspace” where they are in a euphoric “drift” Some can lose the ability to speak or ask for help, rendering safe words useless, so dominants should be aware of any signs. These signs may include, but are not limited to: slurred speech or a sudden nonverbal state (grunts or moans instead of talking), sudden skin tone changes, or eyes may become unresponsive or limp.

What is Subdrop?

The endorphins in your body are at high levels during a scene and once a scene ends, they may suddenly drop resulting in what is called a “subdrop.” Side effects of a subdrop include sudden crying, emotional outbursts, sadness, depression, and anxiety. Some may even experience guilt or shame about what they enjoyed during a scene and this “subdrop” can occur hours and even days later, well beyond when a scene has ended. To avoid subdrop, drink water frequently before, during and after a scene. Listen to your body and do not play a scene while hungry or even slightly ill. Always drink a slightly sugary drink afterwards like orange juice or gatorade to replenish as low blood sugar can be a common issue.

Things to Do Directly Following A Bondage Scene: 

  • Help your sub fully remove all bondage paraphernalia. This includes gags, ropes, toys, and restraints of any kind.
  • Attend to any wounds or bruises with arnica gel, vitamin E cream, or other first aid ointments. You can also use ice to help reduce inflammation It’s even recommended you take a course in first aid and CPR to aid in fully caring for your sub in any ways they may need after play.
  • Provide your sub with food and/or drinks. It’s advised you give your sub something with sugar in it to help potential subdrop and bring back electrolytes and hydration, if any, that was lost during the session.
  • Offer your sub a blanket and/or clothing.
  • Provide a quiet, comfortable place to sit down, lay or cuddle together and discuss what both of you liked/disliked during the scene and how you felt. It’s also a great time to reassure your sub that there’s nothing shameful, wrong or perverted about what was done during the scene. Be aware of the senses and make sure any lights, sounds, and smells are subtle and calming for your sub.
  • Kissing, cuddling, stroking, and general comfort for your sub is encouraged, but depends on your relationship (friends or romantic/sexual involvement).
  • After some time has passed and your sub seems to be more relaxed, it’s a good idea to stretch and/or do some light yoga together. This is a great way to bond, build trust, and also help improve circulation, balance out hormone levels, and improve overall happiness, energy and well being. It doesn’t need to be anything crazy; a little light stretching and/or easy yoga poses will do.
  • Ensure that your sub is coherent and well enough to drive before allowing them to leave. You may also consider getting a bite to eat as well.

Aftercare Kit Ideas:

  • First Aid Kit and Manual
  • Sugary fruit drinks, hard candy, water, gatorade or coconut water to replenish blood sugar levels and electrolytes, and snacks or meals (protein bars, fruit, or even full meals)
  • Warm Blankets and pillows
  • Bath salts and bubble bath
  • Incense, scented candles, or soothing music
  • Favorite Book or Movies
  • Favorite Beverages and/or Food
  • Lotion
  • Adult coloring books and colored pencils or crayons (great for stress relief) or Journal
  • Arnica Gel, Vitamin E Cream, Aloe Vera, Ice, etc for any bruising, minor cuts or wounds
  • Tube of heparinoid to help increase blood flow and reduce bruising
  • Heat or Ice Packs
  • Sterilization or Wet Wipes for quick clean up
  • Stuffed animals for comfort if your partner prefers one

 

Be Safe & Stay Naughty 😉

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xO

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